Frustrated by all the false blogs about iPhone 5 release dates, Jason Gilbert of the Huffington Post wrote a false rumor template to save time for the bloggers who really know nothing. Funny stuff after the jump.
I'm an Android user myself but I have heard rumors this new iPhone 5 will feature an anti-matter teleportation app to whisk you away to anywhere in this galaxy. Meep!
Could the iPhone 5 be coming out in time for [COLUMBUS DAY/HALLOWEEN/THE RAPTURE]?
According to [/NAME OF NEWSPAPER/NAME OF CLAIRVOYANT WIZARD], the newest Apple iPhone will be coming out in [MONTH]. The publication heard these latest rumors from anonymous sources at [APPLE/AT&T/THE SOVEREIGN REPUBLIC OF SOUTH KOREA], who purportedly ["HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MATTER"/"HAVE SEEN CONFIDENTIAL INTERNAL DOCUMENTS"/"HAVE A MODEM AND A KEYBOARD"]. The iPhone 5--or iPhone 4s, as some believe it will be called--is expected to feature an 8 Megapixel rear-facing camera, a wider touchscreen and, perhaps, [4G CAPABILITY/A FASTER A5 PROCESSOR/JACUZZI JETS]. iPhone 5 rumors have been heating up recently, as many different sites have jumped in on the action. Earlier in the week, Apple blog [9TO5MAC/MACRUMORS/MAC MACKINGTON'S MAC NEWS SITE AND MAC BLOG] published blurry photos sent in by a tipster taken in [SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA/WUHAN, CHINA/PHOTOSHOP] that they claim show a prototype iPhone 5 in the wild; earlier in the week, [INSERT UNPRONOUNCABLE WEBSITE NAME], a daily newspaper written in [JAPANESE/VIETNAMESE/A LANGUAGE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT EXTINCT], shared a report showing that Apple had ordered [NUMBER BETWEEN 40 MILLION AND INFINITY] iPhone 5s for the upcoming quarter. If these latest rumors prove true, they would debunk reports from other sites that have said that the iPhone 5 would [COME OUT IN SEPTEMBER/COME OUT IN OCTOBER/COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ON AN EPISODE OF THE DR. PHIL SHOW]. We have reason to trust this particular source, however, as they previously predicted correctly the [RELEASE DATE OF THE IPHONE 4/FEATURES OF THE IPAD 2/POWERBALL NUMBERS FOR FEBRUARY 23, 1997]. Apple did not respond to request for comment. Time will only tell whether these rumors turn out to be [TRUE/FALSE/WILDLY AND IRRESPONSIBLY FABRICATED], but one thing is for sure: We are very, very close to knowing the definite date for the release of the iPhone 5. For all the latest iPhone rumors, make sure you check back here often at your one-stop-shop for all things Apple, [NAME OF YOUR TECHNOLOGICALLY-LEANING BLOG SITE].
Spoof iPhone5 Template by Jason Gilbert - Huffington Post - Used by Permission
I'm an Android user myself but I have heard rumors this new iPhone 5 will feature an anti-matter teleportation app to whisk you away to anywhere in this galaxy. Meep!
Could the iPhone 5 be coming out in time for [COLUMBUS DAY/HALLOWEEN/THE RAPTURE]?
According to [/NAME OF NEWSPAPER/NAME OF CLAIRVOYANT WIZARD], the newest Apple iPhone will be coming out in [MONTH]. The publication heard these latest rumors from anonymous sources at [APPLE/AT&T/THE SOVEREIGN REPUBLIC OF SOUTH KOREA], who purportedly ["HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MATTER"/"HAVE SEEN CONFIDENTIAL INTERNAL DOCUMENTS"/"HAVE A MODEM AND A KEYBOARD"]. The iPhone 5--or iPhone 4s, as some believe it will be called--is expected to feature an 8 Megapixel rear-facing camera, a wider touchscreen and, perhaps, [4G CAPABILITY/A FASTER A5 PROCESSOR/JACUZZI JETS]. iPhone 5 rumors have been heating up recently, as many different sites have jumped in on the action. Earlier in the week, Apple blog [9TO5MAC/MACRUMORS/MAC MACKINGTON'S MAC NEWS SITE AND MAC BLOG] published blurry photos sent in by a tipster taken in [SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA/WUHAN, CHINA/PHOTOSHOP] that they claim show a prototype iPhone 5 in the wild; earlier in the week, [INSERT UNPRONOUNCABLE WEBSITE NAME], a daily newspaper written in [JAPANESE/VIETNAMESE/A LANGUAGE PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT EXTINCT], shared a report showing that Apple had ordered [NUMBER BETWEEN 40 MILLION AND INFINITY] iPhone 5s for the upcoming quarter. If these latest rumors prove true, they would debunk reports from other sites that have said that the iPhone 5 would [COME OUT IN SEPTEMBER/COME OUT IN OCTOBER/COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ON AN EPISODE OF THE DR. PHIL SHOW]. We have reason to trust this particular source, however, as they previously predicted correctly the [RELEASE DATE OF THE IPHONE 4/FEATURES OF THE IPAD 2/POWERBALL NUMBERS FOR FEBRUARY 23, 1997]. Apple did not respond to request for comment. Time will only tell whether these rumors turn out to be [TRUE/FALSE/WILDLY AND IRRESPONSIBLY FABRICATED], but one thing is for sure: We are very, very close to knowing the definite date for the release of the iPhone 5. For all the latest iPhone rumors, make sure you check back here often at your one-stop-shop for all things Apple, [NAME OF YOUR TECHNOLOGICALLY-LEANING BLOG SITE].
Spoof iPhone5 Template by Jason Gilbert - Huffington Post - Used by Permission
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